There is no end, but addition: the trailing
Consequence of further days and hours,
While emotion takes to itself the emotionless
Years of living among the breakage
Of what was believed in as the most reliable-
And therefore the fittest for renunciation.
— T.S. Elliot, "The Dry Salvages"
In this beautiful and haunting poem, Elliot dramatically and poetically chronicles the process of growth and becoming that all children of God must go through to become the men and women that God designed us to be. The "breakage" between what/who we were (past) and what/who we are becoming (future) is a tension-filled and, at times, violent drama played out in the now. In the following post, our intern Zeke Born reflects on "becoming" and on what it means for him to live "among the breakage"
So what does it mean to live among the 'breakage?' It is the process of becoming the person God has created you to be. For me, it looks like knowing that God is calling me towards something and knowing that I am not where I need to be yet. It is allowing God to speak truth into my life and show me the areas that need work.
It is understanding that I am not where I am supposed to be yet, but I am headed in the right direction. It is
knowing that God has a plan for my life, but being unaware of the details. It is accepting that it is okay to not be okay sometimes. It looks like trusting God with my future and allowing him to work on my life in the present. It looks like letting go of the things that were holding me back and submitting them to God. For He can do far more with my life than I could ever hope to accomplish alone.
There are times in life where we feel lost, directionless, and stuck. There are times when we know there are
things in our lives that we need to submit to the Lord but are unwilling for one reason or another. The process of living among the breakage is both painful and necessary to grow as a person and as a believer. It can be uncomfortable and terrifying, but is ultimately one of the most beneficial processes we can go through to become the men and women God has created us to be.
This summer I was asked a very difficult question: “Who are you?”
There will be times God will ask us to give up things we put our identity in so that we can become more aware of Him and the love he has for us. God does not call the equipped, He equips the called.
This summer I was asked a very difficult question: “Who are you?”. This seemingly innocuous question has
plagued me for months. It seems like a simple and straightforward question, but when I really stopped to think about it, I realized I had no idea.
This question was the catalyst for my initiation into the breakage and understanding what it means to be called to sonship. The simple answer to this question is, “I am a beloved son of God.” That is who I am. The period between when the question was asked and when I finally began to internalize the answer is the breakage. It is the time between not knowing who I was and becoming fully aware of how loved I am by the Father. I have been going through the breakage for half a year now. God has been calling me to sonship and right relationship with him.
We are always 'becoming'
The Bible says that to become a man I must put away childish things. “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” (1 Corinthians 13:11). This year, God has put it on my heart to put away childish things and become the man he has called me to be. It is a call to obedience. It has nothing to do with God wanting to keep the “good things” in life away from me and everything to do with the fact that he values our relationship more than I could ever value the things of this world. We are always 'becoming.' The breakage is the space in between where I was and where I am headed.
It is today.
Where are you in your process of "becoming?" Remember that Jesus earned for us the right to be called children of God (John 1:12) who can cry out to a loving, heavenly Father (Rom 8:15) - children that are loved and cared for, but there is a process of becoming mature in Him that often requires the breakage of the new from the old (Hebrews 12:8). This process of becoming - of "living among the breakage" is a process of growing in trust, and growing in both strength and weakness.
If you have questions, our Pastoral staff would love to pray with you or answer your questions about this process.